Day 23: Hoi An, the anagram lover's Hanoi

The Hoi An Old Town (or Ancienttown, as all the signs put it. Or, at least one sign put it) is a UNESCO World Heritage Site, and a really nice place to go on a date. I didn't date anyone there, but if you're hanging around at a suburban shopping centre somewhere, and feel like asking out the girl next to you, take her to central Vietnam. This link from the UNESCO website gives next to no information about it. (Side note: the Ha Long Bay entry seems to imply you can have a dragon tour guide. This is not the case).

Anyway, here's a couple of pictures I took of the place.









I got totally insulted by a dog in a restaurant. Yeah, I'm eating in restaurants that have dogs wandering about. Restaurant is kind of a grandiose term for it anyway, it's more of a place that happens to have tables and food. Anyway. It was lying on the floor a few feet from me, and I was doing the get-a-dog's-attention stuff, clicking my fingers, whistling slighty, and so on. It drags itself to its feet with a look of tired resignation, walks five feet further away, and lies back down. I was hurt. Of course, when my food came, it was a different story.

In that same place, a couple of days later, (it was just outside the hostel), there was an Australian guy and an older Vietnamese guy sitting at a table, with a lot of alcohol sitting on it. The Vietnamese guy was on the phone for a bit, talking, and when he's done, he turns back to the Australian guy. "That guy who's been phoning you and calling you a dog," he says, "that's her boyfriend and they live together". Aussie guy looks very pissed off. "That's why she'd never let me come to her place. I came all the way to Vietnam for that bitch."

When I first got to the hostel, I was given my room key and walked upstairs. On opening the door, there was a naked Argentinian guy standing there. Oh, sorry, he said. Don't worry about it, I replied. That was the only time we spoke.

The beach in Hoi An was lovely. I spent over an hour in the sea jumping into waves. I didn't take any pictures, I had nobody to look after my camera while I was in the water. I had rented a bike, so I cycled the 25 minutes back wearing only swimming shorts, this beacon of pale drifting through the countryside, being gawked at by everyone.

At another dinner I met a Dutch guy who was telling me about when he went to Burma back when it was called Burma, and of escaping Europe for good.

The time came to leave, I bought a ticket for the bus to Saigon. They said it would arrive the the hostel at 1.30pm. After a long period of being jerked around, the bus departed from a separate travel agent at 7.30pm. And it was awful. Don't ever get a sleeper bus in Vietnam. The entire trip they either play a) American action movies dubbed by one angry Vietnamese lady or b) constant pop music. The first one sounds like this entertaining, ridiculous thing that would be perfect to pass the time, but you can only take so much of someone talking over Jason Statham before you try to lie down on your tiny bunk and suddenly you're bounced a foot in the air by a pothold and SOUND OF SMASHING GLASS AND YELLING VIETNAMESE LADY.

I don't want to end the entry with complaining, so in conclusion, Hoi An was lovely and I recommend it to anyone. Get a suit made, I would have if I had more time there. Eat ridiculously cheap food. People seem to take pictures of their meals when they go places, maybe I should do that.